We Aren't Being Judged: Our Political Avatars Are

They hate what they think you are and not what you actually are

I learned quickly that some people may claim to hate you but they actually hate their avatar of you.

They will overlook anything you say if it doesn't fit into the avatar's narrative.

They hate what they think you are and not what you actually are.

In politics, you become what people think you are more so than what you actually are. If you're loosely associated with someone, you must be like them. If you're not a Democrat, you must be a Republican or vice versa. Worse, if a figurehead of your "team" says it, you must agree.

Prior to the 2020 election, I stopped blindly supporting the Democrat party for numerous reasons and started thinking for myself rather than rationalizing the behavior of my "team" or swallowing their propaganda because that's what a good teammate is expected to do.

However, I didn't want to switch teams and do the same thing on the Republican side, I wanted to become a free agent who isn't beholden to a political party. I wanted to follow my values and what makes sense to me. But this type of approach isn't cohesive for avatar creators.

After I published my book, I met with a former friend of mine who considers himself a socialist. I was trying to avoid talking about politics but he inevitably brought it to this discussion. While having lunch together, he would constantly insinuate positions that I never held.

He would say things like "your boy Tucker [Carlson]" which was confusing because I didn't watch Tucker's show nor did I bring him up in conversation. In later phone calls, we would start off cordial but he would speak in an antagonistic tone while misrepresenting my positions.

In one moment, he would say he doesn't care about my politics and that we could remain friends but then the next moment he's insinuating that I'm guilty by association as I'm now "one of them". He wasn't talking about his supposed friend, he was talking about the avatar.

I gave him a copy of my book and I know he didn't read it because if he did, in good faith, he would have a better understanding of my positions and advocacies. But he, like many others, is simplistically beholden to the avatar they've created for their opposition.

It's an unfair position to be in when you're being told to defend someone else's words. He had more conclusions about me than questions for me. He wasn't curious as to why I stopped blindly supporting the Democrats because tribal rules don't care about nuance.

I haven't talked to this person in a long time and probably never will again. My rule of never having bad-faith conversations with people needed to be enforced because he would likely never see me for who I really am, instead of the hateful right-wing monster avatar he created.

However, most avatar creators are selective in their manufacturing process as they can see the complexities of ideas and deeper substance for people on "their side" but conceptually deny anything beyond the monolithic creature they've mentally constructed for the "other side".

People are complex and they can change as well, which is why I believe it's best to criticize bad ideas and behavior more so the individual.

But I believe we should allow people the respect to face criticisms of things they said or did.

Delete the avatar. Input the individual.