I Went From Being Scared To Leave My Home To Traveling The World

I went from experiencing agoraphobia, an anxiety disorder that can make you fearful of leaving your home, to traveling the world.

In my mid-20s, I started working at a call center doing over-the-phone tech support for a well-known corporation. It was a great opportunity to gain some experience along with great pay & benefits. However, I would soon realize the downside of this type of environment: pressure.

It was the constant pressure to take the next call and to make your calls shorter. The pressure from management to do the near impossible of fixing every issue in near impossible times consistently with as few breaks in between to decompress.

One day I learned of a new opportunity to work "off-line", meaning, the role would be us not taking incoming calls but calling customers back. I expressed my interest in this role and my supervisor dangled it in front of me like a carrot.

I remember one day, he didn't like one of my metrics and threatened that I wouldn't make it offline and I had this feeling of immense despair. I felt like I was going to cry at that moment. I would later realize this was one of many panic attacks I was having.

I would eventually make it offline and thrived. However, due to corporate politics, after a year, they removed these roles and put us all back on the phones for incoming calls. I had a tremendous amount of fear leading up to that day.

One day, I finished a call and I just felt like doom. There is no other way to express it. I looked around the call center and just saw it as one large repetition and I was sinking into an abyss of doom.

I immediately talked to a supervisor but they declined to remove me from the phones. I didn't know what to do until a co-worker told me to look out for myself. I left work and proceeded to go on short-term disability.

It was a crossroads in my life because I truly didn't know what to do other than leave the environment that was triggering panic attacks. One day, I needed to leave the house and I was scared to. Being a homebody is one thing but being fearful to leave was another.

At that moment, I knew I needed help and sought out a therapist. I refused to use medication and just wanted to deal with whatever I was going through. 3 times a week for about 3 weeks, I went to my therapist & uncontrollably cried.

I had so many aspects of my childhood I never dealt with that were finally coming out. The disappointment with not having my father in my life, my rocky relationship with my mother, and my depressive episodes throughout my life were finally being dealt with.

I ultimately got fired from that job to find another job making half the hourly wage, yet I used this opportunity to build myself up again. Fast forward a few years later, I landed an IT job that would kick off my career.

However, there were still aspects of my anxiety that were still affecting my life. After a bad breakup, I decided to do something that I always wanted to do: travel to Europe. On my first large trip, I landed in Berlin, & accidentally began my exposure therapy for social anxiety.

Solo traveling abroad essentially cured whatever anxiety I had left over because everything was new and I had no choice but to proceed to explore the unknown in a foreign nation. Since that trip, I've been to Germany 6 more times and 10 countries throughout Europe, mostly alone.

Today, I'm not fearful of the unknown like I used to be. I'm not afraid to leave my house, I actually welcome it. I'm attracted to the unknown because I've seen how the unknown has led me to meet amazing people & has brought about amazing experiences.

Instead of drugging myself with anti-depressants, I dealt with my issues. It was a long journey to anxiety sobriety but it was a journey I needed to go on. It is why I believe we have the power to change our destiny because if I can do it, you can too.

If you want better for yourself, it has to start with you and there aren't shortcuts to experiencing emotional success. If you're suffering, understand you're not alone in this process, and if it seems unlikely anyone comes out of it, just know that I did.

Become accountable for your shortcomings and work tediously to become the better version of yourself. Find a therapist that suits you and begin your journey to finding the real you.

I am genuinely happy and unafraid: you can be too.