F**kboy Culture & the Death of the Masculine Man
As my son becomes older, I’ve been trying to introduce him to habits that are conducive to a successful man. One of them is the upkeep of his hair and especially for him since his hair is long and curly, it’s of extreme importance. I started taking him to my barber every other weekend after I pick him up from his mother’s house to help build a habit for both of us and set a standard of acceptable appearance for ourselves.
Now at 15, and soon to be 16, he has been exposed more and more to adult types of situations, whether it be watching movies with lots of cursing or hearing someone talk about sex. Sometimes you don’t see these conversations coming and recently at the barbershop, I had no control over him hearing it.
There is one particular barber that is usually there when we attend and if you could google the image of a fuckboy, you would see him. He wore the uniform of a fuckboy, he had the swagger of a fuckboy and he had the vernacular of a fuckboy. This is not to say that he is a bad person, but it’s important to identify the character of this person.
As I’m sitting in the barber’s chair, on the other side of the room the topic comes up of sex, which is not abnormal in a barbershop. Most men will tell you that the barbershop can have all types of spicy and politically incorrect conversations, which personally I welcome. Everyone is always uptight and afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings, but the barbershop is one of our last safe havens from PC culture.
It was not the discussion of sex, but his pridefulness with all of his sexual exploits. You could feel the joyfulness in his heart as he describes in detail how he almost had a threesome with two "bad bitches" and with every raunchy detail, he received laughs and gleeful acknowledgment from the other men there. He even described his experience of going to a massage parlor and receiving a little more than a back massage.
This conversation went on for nearly an hour, but I’m sure to my son it felt like six hours. I would look at him and his 6 ft 1-inch frame was hunched all the way over as he was sitting and staring into his phone as if he was attempting to find a way to teleport into his phone to avoid the most uncomfortable conversation he has ever had to endure. What made it even more embarrassing for him was having to listen to this conversation while his father was only feet away.
As we got into my car to drive away, I could see how he was embarrassed and I initially was going to act like it didn’t happen. To be honest, I thought it was a little humorous to see him like that, but that’s just the diabolical father in me snickering. A couple of minutes into the drive, he stated that he finds it weird when men talk about stuff like that openly. This sparked a 15-minute conversation that I would like to share with you.
I don’t have any issues with this man speaking openly in the confines of a barbershop. I don’t take issue with his sexual exploits with another consenting adult (I have an issue with prostitution but that’s a different topic) and I don’t have that big of an issue with him speaking like that in front of my 15-year-old son. What I told my son was not to be like him and the reason being is that you can tell that those moments were the best moments of his pathetic life.
The issue with fuckboys is that they put their pleasures ahead of everything else and everyone else. They can’t sustain a relationship because they are selfish people. They are addicted to pleasure and they are impulsive when it comes to their desires, which tend to be short-term. They are called ‘boys’ for a reason and that’s because they haven’t developed into men. They are grown males and still live the life of an impulsive teenager looking for a quick high.
The fuckboy is like sludge in the relationship ecosystem. Women fall for their cute faces and sweet-talking but once they get thrown away, those same women believe that this “boy” represents the average man.
He has no problem telling a woman that he loves them for sex and manipulating them to get gifts. These are the type of males that convince women with jobs to pay their rent and buy more fuckboy apparel like a fresh white tee and a fitted cap. They are the beneficiaries of a woman's hypergamous nature and the creators of female skepticism against men.
They are males without dick discipline and because they are constant pleasure seekers, they will inevitably create one or more unplanned children and add another baby momma to the relationship ecosystem. These males ruin potentially good female partners when they “pump and dump” them with a bastard child that looks just like them.
The worst part of the fuckboy is that he is a purposeless male who is in constant need of validation from women. Don’t get me wrong, men take pride in getting women because it’s difficult to do however, when it becomes the single most important part of your existence, then you are not a man yet, you’re still a boy.
The fuckboy is the representation of the undeveloped man. We wonder why men aren’t masculine anymore and part of the reason is that the fuckboy has been elevated in our society. Hip-Hop culture is filled with fuckboys and males that “trick” for women. They brandish guns to give the illusion of their toughness while their hands are smooth. They have voluptuous women dancing around them, but they are paid to be there. Regardless of this, the illusion of the fuckboy as the desired man has contributed to the death of the masculine man.
Outside of popular culture, many of the fuckboys that I'm referencing became this way because they lacked exposure to a healthy masculine man during their childhood. Many of them were constantly surrounded by women during their childhood and they've grown accustomed to placing women on pedestals while utilizing their sexual presence as a measurement of their manhood.
Without a strong male figure to teach them the importance of regulating their emotions and explaining the importance of boundaries, they'll find sexual boundaries to be a nuisance as they are the unregulated male. Although they appear to place women in high regard, they never learn that it's of a man's nature to protect women, which is why they have no problems hurting women emotionally to get what they want.
My son already knows that if you chase your purpose instead of women, you will find more success in life and the women will follow. You don’t need to swindle a woman into giving her body to you, she’ll be attracted to your masculine frame and do it willingly.
My son knows to become someone that is respectable because ultimately women want a man that they can respect and a woman of quality will easily skip over a fuckboy for a true masculine man.