Facing Trauma: I was admitted at 6 years old to a mental hospital
adambcoleman.substack.com
To become the man I am today, I've had to face past traumatic experiences but there is one that I've been avoiding for decades & even blocking those memories. When I was 6 years old, I was admitted to a mental hospital because I told my mother I wanted to kill myself.
Your bravery is a beacon for so many people, Adam. Thank you. It is our emotions that have the most control over us, and whether we can express them or not is the ultimate trigger in our lives. God bless you. And thank you for sharing this---keep sharing it, so that others can hear it. It's that important.
We were created to live in community...to experience joy, pain, confusion, hope and despair...in community. I'm thankful you are finding your feet and your voice. God crafted you on purpose; you are deeply known and loved. But we were born into a sinful world, and we need our creator to rescue use. Even now I'm asking our Rescuer to do His mighty work in your life...redeeming the iniquity of your ancestors with his pure and precious blood. Only He can do it. Prayers are going up!
Adam, your past is not a hindrance to your future or present, it shaped it. You are writing this column and are the man and husband and father you are today because of it. Trauma can make you a better person if you are brave enough to face it. I speak this of experience. Thank you for your inspirational words that have helped me so much and I hope you continue to show how masculinity can be strong and vulnerable at the same time.
On a lighter note, we need people to show us what Real Men look like, outside the extremes of Soy Boy and Andrew Tate. Men like you and my husband are leading the way. BTW, my husband's dad took off when he was born and he is an amazing father to our children. I am so much more in awe of men who step up when there was nobody to show them the way.
Adam, you are accomplishing such great things as of late. The road to success is often marked with challenges but some will permanently break down while others will persevere. I know your star is rising.
I understand the need to formally share but also appreciate that you likely share your experience in everything you do. From the little I know of you, you seem like one of the most compassionate and giving people - sharing your experiences in hope that others may benefit. Thank you!
Wow. Everywhere I turn someone is speaking from the heart. What a terrible and fantastic moment. Our world changes each time someone does what you just did. My eyes popped out of my head at the experience of a 6-year-old. Thank you for your courage. FACT: when we look directly at our traumas, they lose their grip; exactly as you said. Be well!
Adam, I shared this with some friends of mine. I think this will have a serious impact on many people that read it, including me. Thank you for sharing your story.
Big hug! I love your honesty and the working out of stuff, because you are correct, we all have stuff we need to heal from, but the human reaction is to hide our shame and fear. We all need to share in safety and be free!
As you've discovered, writing about these things can be enormously therapeutic. I don't have a directly comparable experience, but all of us have trauma in one form or another, and for me, writing about it has allowed me to progress in my thinking about it. That isn't to say it makes the experience go away, or lessen the deepness of the scars left behind. It does mean that the memories have a more settled outcome in my mind; that in verbalizing it in writing has enabled me to move on somewhat. I wish you the best in your process of healing from this, and I hope you have a cathartic experience which puts some of this history to rest.
Good to read that you're adapting to, and integrating, your juvenile imprisonment, Adam.
From an older person to a younger, I respectfully offer a reminder that the experience you underwent is formative, which is to say that we were presented with stimuli to which we adapted. When we "process our trauma," what we're doing is adapting to the adaptations that were forced on us when placed within a mentally-invasive milieu.
What we learned in those places, was to provide the responses that would obtain our freedom from duress; no more and no less.
Your epiphany (for that's what it was,) brought those prior adaptations into your conscious awareness. Once we are able to observe what happened, we add new layers of adaptation, but we retain many layers, and they have formed what we have become.
The reason I'm making the above observations, is because the fine upstanding man you've become is, in part, BECAUSE of your experience of being imprisoned for the crime of sharing your feelings when you were small.
The fact that you're now sharing those feelings publicly, demonstrates that you have learned WHEN to trust, and WHAT others can be trusted with.
What you experienced formed who you are now, and who you are, is entirely worthy of self-respect. As you continue to process your experience, please remember that you learned useful things, and did so the hard way.
In our culture of "therapy," a very shallow level of analysis is the norm. What is maladaptive, is situational, and that fact gets lost in the signal-to-noise ratio.
Today's essay interested me greatly and touched my heart profoundly. Many thanks for writing it.
Your bravery is a beacon for so many people, Adam. Thank you. It is our emotions that have the most control over us, and whether we can express them or not is the ultimate trigger in our lives. God bless you. And thank you for sharing this---keep sharing it, so that others can hear it. It's that important.
So many need to hear that. Thank you.
We were created to live in community...to experience joy, pain, confusion, hope and despair...in community. I'm thankful you are finding your feet and your voice. God crafted you on purpose; you are deeply known and loved. But we were born into a sinful world, and we need our creator to rescue use. Even now I'm asking our Rescuer to do His mighty work in your life...redeeming the iniquity of your ancestors with his pure and precious blood. Only He can do it. Prayers are going up!
Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life. It couldn’t have been easy. My admiration for the kind of person you are continues to grow.
Adam, your past is not a hindrance to your future or present, it shaped it. You are writing this column and are the man and husband and father you are today because of it. Trauma can make you a better person if you are brave enough to face it. I speak this of experience. Thank you for your inspirational words that have helped me so much and I hope you continue to show how masculinity can be strong and vulnerable at the same time.
On a lighter note, we need people to show us what Real Men look like, outside the extremes of Soy Boy and Andrew Tate. Men like you and my husband are leading the way. BTW, my husband's dad took off when he was born and he is an amazing father to our children. I am so much more in awe of men who step up when there was nobody to show them the way.
Adam, you are accomplishing such great things as of late. The road to success is often marked with challenges but some will permanently break down while others will persevere. I know your star is rising.
I understand the need to formally share but also appreciate that you likely share your experience in everything you do. From the little I know of you, you seem like one of the most compassionate and giving people - sharing your experiences in hope that others may benefit. Thank you!
Oh, Adam. Thank you for telling about what happened.
Wow. Everywhere I turn someone is speaking from the heart. What a terrible and fantastic moment. Our world changes each time someone does what you just did. My eyes popped out of my head at the experience of a 6-year-old. Thank you for your courage. FACT: when we look directly at our traumas, they lose their grip; exactly as you said. Be well!
Adam, I shared this with some friends of mine. I think this will have a serious impact on many people that read it, including me. Thank you for sharing your story.
I hope this post has limitless positive ripple effects!
Just know that behind you are many for whom you also speak. Thank you.
Big hug! I love your honesty and the working out of stuff, because you are correct, we all have stuff we need to heal from, but the human reaction is to hide our shame and fear. We all need to share in safety and be free!
As you've discovered, writing about these things can be enormously therapeutic. I don't have a directly comparable experience, but all of us have trauma in one form or another, and for me, writing about it has allowed me to progress in my thinking about it. That isn't to say it makes the experience go away, or lessen the deepness of the scars left behind. It does mean that the memories have a more settled outcome in my mind; that in verbalizing it in writing has enabled me to move on somewhat. I wish you the best in your process of healing from this, and I hope you have a cathartic experience which puts some of this history to rest.
Great read Adam - great read
Good to read that you're adapting to, and integrating, your juvenile imprisonment, Adam.
From an older person to a younger, I respectfully offer a reminder that the experience you underwent is formative, which is to say that we were presented with stimuli to which we adapted. When we "process our trauma," what we're doing is adapting to the adaptations that were forced on us when placed within a mentally-invasive milieu.
What we learned in those places, was to provide the responses that would obtain our freedom from duress; no more and no less.
Your epiphany (for that's what it was,) brought those prior adaptations into your conscious awareness. Once we are able to observe what happened, we add new layers of adaptation, but we retain many layers, and they have formed what we have become.
The reason I'm making the above observations, is because the fine upstanding man you've become is, in part, BECAUSE of your experience of being imprisoned for the crime of sharing your feelings when you were small.
The fact that you're now sharing those feelings publicly, demonstrates that you have learned WHEN to trust, and WHAT others can be trusted with.
What you experienced formed who you are now, and who you are, is entirely worthy of self-respect. As you continue to process your experience, please remember that you learned useful things, and did so the hard way.
In our culture of "therapy," a very shallow level of analysis is the norm. What is maladaptive, is situational, and that fact gets lost in the signal-to-noise ratio.
Today's essay interested me greatly and touched my heart profoundly. Many thanks for writing it.